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12.3.08
Wednesday
I wonder if it's possible to get motion sickness from your own thoughts.
They spin, they twist, they collide...like a car crash where the speeds of the cars are so high if you were to watch they'd be nothing but a blur. Yet, still I survive...how does that even figure?
There's so much emotion and complicated/unreadable feelings going on in my head right now that I swear soon enough I just won't be able to take it anymore. Already they've built up to such an extent that my eyes are leaking the lava that's startled to trickle from the overcrowding of the zillion thoughts I can't seem to make sense of.
I don't know who to love and who not to love, who to trust, who to believe, what to believe, hell, even if I can believe. I don't know how to cope, how to think, how to fight, how to talk..i don't know what to choose, and I sure as hell don't know who to ask for advice
Because basically? People aren't interested in hearing out somebody with so many thoughts. I try to speak to people but it's just too difficult for them to understand what I'm trying to say. Even my own mother just thinks I need an attitude adjustment and that I need to start being happier. It really makes me wonder though.. how I'm supposed to be happy on the outside when I struggle to be happy on the inside. I'm not the kind of person who can just put on a mask and pretend that everything going on in my mind is a-ok.
I miss the times when I didn't have so many complications and things to confuse me. I like it when life is simple and I can interpret everything. Not understanding drives me insane.
But whatever, eh? I'm totally not the first person to feel this way so i have to just sort through all the fog clogging my brain and sort things out myself. End.
They spin, they twist, they collide...like a car crash where the speeds of the cars are so high if you were to watch they'd be nothing but a blur. Yet, still I survive...how does that even figure?
There's so much emotion and complicated/unreadable feelings going on in my head right now that I swear soon enough I just won't be able to take it anymore. Already they've built up to such an extent that my eyes are leaking the lava that's startled to trickle from the overcrowding of the zillion thoughts I can't seem to make sense of.
I don't know who to love and who not to love, who to trust, who to believe, what to believe, hell, even if I can believe. I don't know how to cope, how to think, how to fight, how to talk..i don't know what to choose, and I sure as hell don't know who to ask for advice
Because basically? People aren't interested in hearing out somebody with so many thoughts. I try to speak to people but it's just too difficult for them to understand what I'm trying to say. Even my own mother just thinks I need an attitude adjustment and that I need to start being happier. It really makes me wonder though.. how I'm supposed to be happy on the outside when I struggle to be happy on the inside. I'm not the kind of person who can just put on a mask and pretend that everything going on in my mind is a-ok.
I miss the times when I didn't have so many complications and things to confuse me. I like it when life is simple and I can interpret everything. Not understanding drives me insane.
But whatever, eh? I'm totally not the first person to feel this way so i have to just sort through all the fog clogging my brain and sort things out myself. End.
1 fat astronauts