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29.9.08
exhaustion
A fair bit has happened since I last wrote.
The daytime of Saturday was quite a blur. The more I try to think of what I actually did, the harder it is to figure out. I suppose I sort of watched the Grand Final, but I only really like the end because it's always so emotional and I hate the way they play lately with the pathetic hand-balling back and forth to waste time. It's insanely boring.
Anyway. Saturday night I went to Joel Flavel's house. I got a ride with Vlad there, picking Tom up on the way and I was actually a little surprised at the amount of people there. In some ways, I find it amusing that, while school attempts to bring upon us a wild panic about the rapidly incoming exams, the majority of the year level are still out at parties; a world away from the importance of exams which we've been told about four thousand times depict our future. The whole night was pleasing except for the fact that Vladimir pretty much abandoned us for another party and we ended up having to call him and basically beg for a lift back home. Due to this, I did not arrive back home until 2am with work the very next morning.
After work Sunday, (i luckily enough got a lift home with my cousin who just so happened to finish his shopping as I finished my shift) I wandered home half in a daze from lack of sleep only to actually feel motivated to get some of my homework out of the way. Seriously..you never truly realise how exhausting school work is until you're already tired. I decided to try rejuvenate myself with a shower; missing a supposed 3 phone calls in that time before actually being available to take a call from Matt. From that event, we went to Darkzone and I wasn't as petrified of the whole experience as I thought I would be. We got back to Matt's at around 10.30pm and lack of food and too much vodka too fast made me light headed and sleepy. Yeah.
That pretty much sums up the last two days, with my returning home at 9.30 this morning only to eventually collapse into bed and sleep from 2pm to 8.30pm this evening.
I still have so much work to complete and so much study to undertake before school goes back. It's rotten. I'm so glad everything will be over within the next 2 months.
The daytime of Saturday was quite a blur. The more I try to think of what I actually did, the harder it is to figure out. I suppose I sort of watched the Grand Final, but I only really like the end because it's always so emotional and I hate the way they play lately with the pathetic hand-balling back and forth to waste time. It's insanely boring.
Anyway. Saturday night I went to Joel Flavel's house. I got a ride with Vlad there, picking Tom up on the way and I was actually a little surprised at the amount of people there. In some ways, I find it amusing that, while school attempts to bring upon us a wild panic about the rapidly incoming exams, the majority of the year level are still out at parties; a world away from the importance of exams which we've been told about four thousand times depict our future. The whole night was pleasing except for the fact that Vladimir pretty much abandoned us for another party and we ended up having to call him and basically beg for a lift back home. Due to this, I did not arrive back home until 2am with work the very next morning.
After work Sunday, (i luckily enough got a lift home with my cousin who just so happened to finish his shopping as I finished my shift) I wandered home half in a daze from lack of sleep only to actually feel motivated to get some of my homework out of the way. Seriously..you never truly realise how exhausting school work is until you're already tired. I decided to try rejuvenate myself with a shower; missing a supposed 3 phone calls in that time before actually being available to take a call from Matt. From that event, we went to Darkzone and I wasn't as petrified of the whole experience as I thought I would be. We got back to Matt's at around 10.30pm and lack of food and too much vodka too fast made me light headed and sleepy. Yeah.
That pretty much sums up the last two days, with my returning home at 9.30 this morning only to eventually collapse into bed and sleep from 2pm to 8.30pm this evening.
I still have so much work to complete and so much study to undertake before school goes back. It's rotten. I'm so glad everything will be over within the next 2 months.
0 fat astronauts
27.9.08
late night post
It is Sunday Friday.
On accident I typed Sunday. Who really knows why but I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I'm really out of whack with time.
So we have reached the end of week 1 for September holidays. Kind of a bummer really on account I have wasted my time playing Super Mario Galaxy and half-heartedly getting some homework out of the way. Today was a very nice day though. I completed half an exam for English Language, began 2 essays and sat outside in the sun simply basking in it's warmth and attempting to achieve a golden tinge for my pasty legs. In any case...the day was pretty average but this evening, which I'm calling 5pm, my brother, my cousins and I went to our Grandma's house. It was brilliant actually even if it was the routine 'tea, cake and chat' visit. It is rather lovely to be there without the parentals around considering when it is just us kiddos, she lapses back into memory lane and has all these wonderfully interesting stories to tell. Today she was telling us all about the 1940's and the war and a particular gullible friend of hers. It's a good story actually which, simply put, is that this friend was tricked into believing a piece of gum was a contraception pill and then fell pregnant. Ah..the naivety of the old days. :D
I have taken so long to type this up that it is now officially Saturday, so...I guess school is yet another day closer. As are exams. Eep.
I need sleep so this is all. Fin.
On accident I typed Sunday. Who really knows why but I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I'm really out of whack with time.
So we have reached the end of week 1 for September holidays. Kind of a bummer really on account I have wasted my time playing Super Mario Galaxy and half-heartedly getting some homework out of the way. Today was a very nice day though. I completed half an exam for English Language, began 2 essays and sat outside in the sun simply basking in it's warmth and attempting to achieve a golden tinge for my pasty legs. In any case...the day was pretty average but this evening, which I'm calling 5pm, my brother, my cousins and I went to our Grandma's house. It was brilliant actually even if it was the routine 'tea, cake and chat' visit. It is rather lovely to be there without the parentals around considering when it is just us kiddos, she lapses back into memory lane and has all these wonderfully interesting stories to tell. Today she was telling us all about the 1940's and the war and a particular gullible friend of hers. It's a good story actually which, simply put, is that this friend was tricked into believing a piece of gum was a contraception pill and then fell pregnant. Ah..the naivety of the old days. :D
I have taken so long to type this up that it is now officially Saturday, so...I guess school is yet another day closer. As are exams. Eep.
I need sleep so this is all. Fin.
2 fat astronauts
25.9.08
Later
When I am sad I (8):
- pray that it will rain
- curl up in a ball on my bed and listen to sad music
- get angry, then cry it all out.
- go quiet in the hope the noise will go away
- dream of a better tomorrow
- wish i was better at living
- rest my head on my kitty's belly and listen to her purr
- look in my book of happy things
- pray that it will rain
- curl up in a ball on my bed and listen to sad music
- get angry, then cry it all out.
- go quiet in the hope the noise will go away
- dream of a better tomorrow
- wish i was better at living
- rest my head on my kitty's belly and listen to her purr
- look in my book of happy things
When I am happy I (8):
- Reminisce on past memories
- Smile and laugh
- See the beauty in everything
- Wish I could make the rest of the world smile too
- look in my book of happy things
- go for long walks to nowhere in particular
- feel at peace with the entire world
- listen to happy music and jump about
- Reminisce on past memories
- Smile and laugh
- See the beauty in everything
- Wish I could make the rest of the world smile too
- look in my book of happy things
- go for long walks to nowhere in particular
- feel at peace with the entire world
- listen to happy music and jump about
When I am angry I (8):
- will not speak to you if you are the cause
- end up crying once the emotion becomes too overwhelming
- throw things and shout
- will avoid most people and social aspects
- put my head under my pillow and listen to my heart pound
- sit on a chair and simply stare at nothing
- will pack your bags badly at Safeway
- let my mouth become a thin line on my face.
- will not speak to you if you are the cause
- end up crying once the emotion becomes too overwhelming
- throw things and shout
- will avoid most people and social aspects
- put my head under my pillow and listen to my heart pound
- sit on a chair and simply stare at nothing
- will pack your bags badly at Safeway
- let my mouth become a thin line on my face.
0 fat astronauts
24.9.08
Lessons
This is the reason why you have to be so very careful with friendship.
Because they know you better than a stranger who's taken a dislike to you..
They know the way the gears rotate in your mind..
They know exactly what cuts you close to heart.
And this is why I should have always kept my mouth shut.
Makes me wish I had forever kept to myself.
I don't like this thing of growing up.
I don't like the mistakes I've made.
Because they know you better than a stranger who's taken a dislike to you..
They know the way the gears rotate in your mind..
They know exactly what cuts you close to heart.
And this is why I should have always kept my mouth shut.
Makes me wish I had forever kept to myself.
I don't like this thing of growing up.
I don't like the mistakes I've made.
0 fat astronauts
21.9.08
love your way
Today I have been continuously playing summer songs.
The kind that bring back memories from previous summers..
The ones you can sing off by heart due to excessive playing..
the ones that remind you of the sunny, refreshing and beautiful days of living.
I can never fully figure out why I wake up so much earlier when I've had less sleep. Maybe it is the energy from the night before beating it's way around my body so insanely that my brain has to stop sleeping or else it will explode. I'm not sure.
In any case...on waking this morning, my eyes were gummed shut with the previous night's mascara and eyeliner (both of which were used excessively in preparation), I had particles of red and yellow hair colour spray in my eyeballs and the skin on my head and neck was shaded a beastly red tinge. It literally took me about 10 minutes to get all the hairspray and red and yellow out of my hair (note that it was also fairly painful).
In comparison to previous days, this one has been fairly peaceful and non-chaotic. Work was busy and went by super fast. One of the customers acted very strangely but I won't get into that. I walked part of the way home and wasted my afternoon playing Super Mario Galaxy and chowing down on salad filled burritos. And now I sit here wondering if my parentals care that this song I am playing says 'fuck' so much.
Exams are speeding towards me faster than I expected. I'm actually starting to get back into that study mode I developed at the end of last year for Psychology. Freaky shiz. Especially because the study is for 4 times more subjects this time around.
First official day of 'holidays' tomorrow. The weather better keep up.
The kind that bring back memories from previous summers..
The ones you can sing off by heart due to excessive playing..
the ones that remind you of the sunny, refreshing and beautiful days of living.
I can never fully figure out why I wake up so much earlier when I've had less sleep. Maybe it is the energy from the night before beating it's way around my body so insanely that my brain has to stop sleeping or else it will explode. I'm not sure.
In any case...on waking this morning, my eyes were gummed shut with the previous night's mascara and eyeliner (both of which were used excessively in preparation), I had particles of red and yellow hair colour spray in my eyeballs and the skin on my head and neck was shaded a beastly red tinge. It literally took me about 10 minutes to get all the hairspray and red and yellow out of my hair (note that it was also fairly painful).
In comparison to previous days, this one has been fairly peaceful and non-chaotic. Work was busy and went by super fast. One of the customers acted very strangely but I won't get into that. I walked part of the way home and wasted my afternoon playing Super Mario Galaxy and chowing down on salad filled burritos. And now I sit here wondering if my parentals care that this song I am playing says 'fuck' so much.
Exams are speeding towards me faster than I expected. I'm actually starting to get back into that study mode I developed at the end of last year for Psychology. Freaky shiz. Especially because the study is for 4 times more subjects this time around.
First official day of 'holidays' tomorrow. The weather better keep up.
0 fat astronauts
20.9.08
Copycatting a List
Things I want to do before I die:
- Feel at peace with not only myself but everything else around me.
- Have a romance-moment in my life that resembles a fictional one from a novel or film.
- Ride in a helicopter over the suburbs at nighttime.
- Visit Japan, Sweden, Italy, Mexico and Russia.
- Kiss in the rain & kiss over the time period when one year becomes another on new year's eve.
- Learn how to speak Spanish
- Get back that feeling of secret contentedness I lost years ago
- Learn to not let peoples' words effect me.
- Have a proper tea party. And by this I mean umbrellas and vintage-style clothing and plenty of china crockery.
- Break out of my shell and be who I truly am at all times.
- Be somebody's favourite person.
- Buy a hairless cat and call him Chewbacca.
I think I will continue to add to this list from time to time when I think of new things. :)
Tonight was a fairly good night. && I like to dance in a jumpy way. It makes me feel somewhat free of everything I feel binds me to the negatives in my life. So like...dancing ftw.
I also really really really like cookie dough and am craving some right now. Plans for tomorrow will perhaps include adopting some from the local supermarket. I wish it were freee.
- Feel at peace with not only myself but everything else around me.
- Have a romance-moment in my life that resembles a fictional one from a novel or film.
- Ride in a helicopter over the suburbs at nighttime.
- Visit Japan, Sweden, Italy, Mexico and Russia.
- Kiss in the rain & kiss over the time period when one year becomes another on new year's eve.
- Learn how to speak Spanish
- Get back that feeling of secret contentedness I lost years ago
- Learn to not let peoples' words effect me.
- Have a proper tea party. And by this I mean umbrellas and vintage-style clothing and plenty of china crockery.
- Break out of my shell and be who I truly am at all times.
- Be somebody's favourite person.
- Buy a hairless cat and call him Chewbacca.
I think I will continue to add to this list from time to time when I think of new things. :)
Tonight was a fairly good night. && I like to dance in a jumpy way. It makes me feel somewhat free of everything I feel binds me to the negatives in my life. So like...dancing ftw.
I also really really really like cookie dough and am craving some right now. Plans for tomorrow will perhaps include adopting some from the local supermarket. I wish it were freee.
2 fat astronauts
18.9.08
lolwut
I have a new ambition in life.
Driving home from the Dandenongs tonight
I decided that I want to, at least once in my life,
Fly in a helicopter at night
So I can see all the lights of suburbia.
It'd be so lovely. So dreamy. So pretty.
0 fat astronauts
13.9.08
Bit of an outburst via a blog.
Some words of advice: She is not yours, never will be, so do not get attached. Also note the fact that obsession is not the same as love or lust. It is a whole different deal, so realise this is what you feel and get the fuck over it.
Today is an irritating day due to the fact that the weather is absolutely amazing but I am stuck inside at this here computer editing my media film which is due in..oh I don't know...TWO DAYS.
There's sun on the windowsill and there's a nice breeze blowing and the birds are very noisy and it sounds so wonderful but alas, i must sit here swaying to the hum of the computer and tapping rhythms against the keyboard.
There is officially one last week of a proper term left of school forever. I'm actually looking forward to exams on account it means just study; no due dates or SACs etc. It'll be kinda nice.
I'm thinking about going backpacking somewhere good during January..not sure where yet..but it'd be brilliant to just escape from everything I've ever known for a while.
For final news, I'm sick of people thinking they know exactly who I am when they don't have a clue. No..I am NOT impressed that you can play songs from Zelda on the piano or guitar. Sure, I say I love the game but it's not all I can talk about. There are many other aspects to who I am. And no..i don't find it funny when I am constantly cussed out. Nor do I find you mysterious or charming just because you say meaningful things or speak very little around me. No..I'm not going to like you if you're going to act like you have some fucking obsessive compulsive mental disorder with people. I also don't hate half as much as I say I do. I love things far more than I let on..also keep in mind the fact that I am far from judgemental. I only judge fat people but that is allowed because they are fat if they are fat. So leave me alone about that.
And finally...I may hate overly-feminist things but this doesn't go to say that it's okay for you to grade people (laadies) or speak of them like you won a fucking prize.
Ok?
I'm done. ha
peace out, chickens.
2 fat astronauts
9.9.08
Intriguing
One of the most intolerable, insufferable things in this world is to have feelings for somebody who
a) You cannot tell
b) Will never be interested and
c) Who'd never understand.
It's not a very nice feeling at all.
Anyway: I found this survey that involves using urbandictionary.com. I think it is rather inventive.
1)What's your name? Stephanie
2) Your age? Eighteen
3) One of your friends? Yen
4) What should you be doing?Homework
a punishment given to students by evil teachers after the students have already put in 7 hours of hard labor.
5) Favorite color? Green
Someone who is just off in the head, acting as if they just dont have any sense whatsoever.
6) Where were you born? Melbourne
7) Last person you talked to? Mum
8) Last name? Fletcher
a) You cannot tell
b) Will never be interested and
c) Who'd never understand.
It's not a very nice feeling at all.
Anyway: I found this survey that involves using urbandictionary.com. I think it is rather inventive.
1)
| The sexiest girl in the world |
2) Your age? Eighteen
| Age norfs gonna die from overweight and clogaged arteries. |
3) One of your frien
Hot ass Asian girl name. Also Japanese currency which reflects that you would pay a lot of yen to get a hot Yen.
4) What shoul
5) Favor
Someo
6) Where
Melbourne; home, epicentre, ground-zero and dead-end of Australia's 'national' sport, Australian Rules "Football" for twenty odd weeks of the year. (nb. Aussie rules is actually quite popular in Adelaide, Australia's second-largest underground town, and also in Perth, where the only alternative is professional drink-driving.)
7) Last perso
| a word which dickhead americans can't spell, and claim we spell wrong - despite the fact that WE invented the language, and the idiots WE sent to america couldn't spell. British Guy: Hey mum, I'm home. American Tit: Hey mom I'm gay! |
8) Last name?
| An angry blowharded asshole who often loses his temper and screams at co-workers at his place of employment. |
1 fat astronauts
1.9.08
unconventional
At my age, anything is possible...[so long as you're beautiful.]
I'm accepting of the fact I'll never be an Elle or a Megan, but it's not so nice being reminded to the multiple lately that I'm not stunning; not beautiful; not gorgeous. And to make matters worse is the fact that when I get upset by it or irritable, somebody will throw false compliments in the hope of fixing or reordering the words that they've blurted.
Seriously...it just makes matters worse. It embeds the whole 'sympathy' response.
It is three weeks until school is basically done forever. I'm terrified and excited all at once.
1 fat astronauts