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30.6.08
nevermore
The question tumbles
carelessly from your
rosy lips
'How do you feel?'
if i had a heart
i'd let you know
but time has worn it
to stone.
i can't begin to
remember how it
was to seep with feeling
a form of warmth and chill
i'd cry out to be rescued
but my tongues knotted
with grief and regret
i'm the lost balloon
carelessly from your
rosy lips
'How do you feel?'
if i had a heart
i'd let you know
but time has worn it
to stone.
i can't begin to
remember how it
was to seep with feeling
a form of warmth and chill
i'd cry out to be rescued
but my tongues knotted
with grief and regret
i'm the lost balloon
And happily I floated away.
2 fat astronauts
Dear life,
0 fat astronauts
29.6.08
Learn to see
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive.
I tire of feeling like I'm missing out on so so much yet I do nothing about it because my wings are bound by life's chains and when freedom arises, I know not how to explore the wild, viciousness of adventure.
I tire of feeling like I'm missing out on so so much yet I do nothing about it because my wings are bound by life's chains and when freedom arises, I know not how to explore the wild, viciousness of adventure.
1 fat astronauts
28.6.08
Evaporation
i don't know
who to believe anymore.
i think i'll be flying solo..
2 fat astronauts
27.6.08
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I am feeling totally wise and intelligent at this very moment for you see...in the past 2 hours, I have successfully learned the moves to Crank dat Soulja boi and played Carbon Monoxide all the way through properly on the piano. epic amirite?
today was a nice day. Very few classes. (just English actually) and not much else. And the talent quest which was rather good. SO MUCH PEOPLE HAVE TALENT. ZOMG.
I wish that I could do magic..it's rather spectacular. Talking to spirits would be fun. Actually...scratch that. I wish I was Harry Potter. He has cutesy hair and glasses so he wins.
I had to come back and edit this on account I was charged off the computer by two mans with lack of face so I was playing Guitar Hero and being very very good at it except I was only getting 87% for a lot of the songs on medium so I have to practice and get better. This is a long sentence.
peace bbez. x
today was a nice day. Very few classes. (just English actually) and not much else. And the talent quest which was rather good. SO MUCH PEOPLE HAVE TALENT. ZOMG.
I wish that I could do magic..it's rather spectacular. Talking to spirits would be fun. Actually...scratch that. I wish I was Harry Potter. He has cutesy hair and glasses so he wins.
I had to come back and edit this on account I was charged off the computer by two mans with lack of face so I was playing Guitar Hero and being very very good at it except I was only getting 87% for a lot of the songs on medium so I have to practice and get better. This is a long sentence.
peace bbez. x
0 fat astronauts
26.6.08
...am i
HOT!? D:
3 fat astronauts
23.6.08
departure
it hurts more than the world to think you're not there.
it hurts to think you exist in an unreachable way.
i cry but the tears are invisible to you.
they always have been.
always will be.
that's love.
1 fat astronauts
21.6.08
love & dreams
When we die, do we dream forever?
Dreaming keeps us safe from harm.
1 fat astronauts
20.6.08
how do you sleep at night?
I find it so confusing that even with plenty of sleep I'm still totally exhausted. Tonight I came home, got me some mi goreng and sat down to watch some Goosebumps episodes only to discover, WITH that sitting down, how bloody tired I was. So at 6pm I went to bed and slept for 2 hours but 2 hours after I've woken up, I still feel so lifeless and drained of energy.
It could very well be the fact that this term has just dragged on way too long or the fact that this year is a lot more tiring than it appears, but no matter what, I feel I could sleep forever if I was given the chance.
In other news, the fact that Australia is now the fattest nation in the world is insanely embarrassing. Now is the time to move countries I believe. THE FAT IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD. (they should consider making a horror film about humankind running out of food and having to resort to cannibalism. Brilliant, non?)
Although I adore you my darling internet, I do believe you are partially to blame for this issue. K.Rudd should seriously think about improving the health system and whatnot before everybody stacks on the kilos and finds themselves mistaken for whales by the Japanese.
I'm looking forward to the end of this year so very very much. Basically just 13 weeks to go. Hellzyuhh. :D
It could very well be the fact that this term has just dragged on way too long or the fact that this year is a lot more tiring than it appears, but no matter what, I feel I could sleep forever if I was given the chance.
In other news, the fact that Australia is now the fattest nation in the world is insanely embarrassing. Now is the time to move countries I believe. THE FAT IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD. (they should consider making a horror film about humankind running out of food and having to resort to cannibalism. Brilliant, non?)
Although I adore you my darling internet, I do believe you are partially to blame for this issue. K.Rudd should seriously think about improving the health system and whatnot before everybody stacks on the kilos and finds themselves mistaken for whales by the Japanese.
I'm looking forward to the end of this year so very very much. Basically just 13 weeks to go. Hellzyuhh. :D
4 fat astronauts
18.6.08
nothing's sacred for sinners
Remember the feelings..
And they day they died.
I lost them to the days
I lost them to the eyes.
And they day they died.
I lost them to the days
I lost them to the eyes.
4 fat astronauts
16.6.08
Our days were numbered by nights
Am i that predictable?
Can you read me like a book?
save me.
Can you read me like a book?
save me.
2 fat astronauts
14.6.08
Trapped
I cry out to you
But the door's made of metal
and the shriek and ache
just bends and breaks..
splits in my ears
and takes memories away.
1 fat astronauts
13.6.08
>helping only hinders.
"Sometimes I take the warm Batterys out of my Radio and hold them tightly in my hands... they feel like real humanhands...
and then I close my eyes and imagine a girl who lays next to me and holds my hands and... and likes me.
I close my eyes till the batterys are cold and remind my of my loneliness. I am afraid to open my eyes then, becouse I know nobody is laying next to me... "
aw. :[
"Sometimes I take the warm Batterys out of my Radio and hold them tightly in my hands... they feel like real humanhands...
and then I close my eyes and imagine a girl who lays next to me and holds my hands and... and likes me.
I close my eyes till the batterys are cold and remind my of my loneliness. I am afraid to open my eyes then, becouse I know nobody is laying next to me... "
aw. :[
1 fat astronauts
A wild conclusion has appeared!
Discovery factor: I am the biggest loser the Earth has ever produced. No joke.
Anyway:
I am simply ordinary.
I've never seen a camel ride a motorcycle
I will never meet Jesus' reincarnation
I wish i lived a life of adventure and spontaneity
The craziest things you'll ever see happen at the family gatherings
The silliest things you'll ever hear sometimes slip from my lips
Why is often a question that gets you nowhere.
I love dreaming and sleeping
I hate looking too closely at the fragments of my life
I cannot stand upon my feet if my legs are broken
I will always love my kitty more than any other creature on Earth.
I have an unnecessary addiction to my DS
I need somebody to force me to see things optimistically
I still makes wishes with dandelions in the summertime.
I fear loneliness and monotony.
I turned down nothing that i shouldn't have.
I kissed two boys and I regret it with total passion.
I might be nothing to most of the world, but I'm okay with that.
I used to write poems and sing them afterwards.
I should have been born in southern Mexico
1 fat astronauts
12.6.08
Untitled.
I just want to be alone.
Away from insecurities and deception.
Because sometimes the pain is almost unbearable.
Away from insecurities and deception.
Because sometimes the pain is almost unbearable.
0 fat astronauts
11.6.08
Incurable humanness
I'm tired a lot lately. Even as soon as I wake up, I'm tired.
I went walking today, and I was so light headed I seriously thought I might faint.
It could possibly be due to the fact I'm cutting back on food but...
Then again, I'm still eating and drinking lots of waters, so I don't quite know what's wrong with me.
The last couple of days have been very uneventful. However, they've been lovely and simple. I love going for walks in the park. I love idling my night away IMing Corey. I love the wonderful free feeling of having no school. I love simply sitting and thinking. And I love afternoon naps. <3
Thanks to this week of laziness though, the next two weeks are seriously going to drag.
Negatives to this week so far:
- Relating to the title of this blog, I'm sick of being totally pessimistic about the human race, but I just can't help myself.
- Am also rather over my second toe on my left foot which is constantly inflamed due to being longer than my big toe and my habit of stubbing it on things or simply tripping over it. Don't even ask me how that's possible, but it totally is!
peace, bbez. <3
1 fat astronauts
9.6.08
there's nobody out there
And I don't want the world to see me 'coz I don't think that they'd understand.
3 fat astronauts
future
welcome to the real world.
and they mean it.
because real isn't the same as pretend.
it isn't the same as fantasy.
it's like a bomb.
ticking at undetermined intervals.
destructive to no mercy
we want to save them.
but they're trapped
in the globe of existence.
and they mean it.
because real isn't the same as pretend.
it isn't the same as fantasy.
it's like a bomb.
ticking at undetermined intervals.
destructive to no mercy
we want to save them.
but they're trapped
in the globe of existence.
1 fat astronauts
7.6.08
it's all just drift and float
this is about the 5th time I've opened blogger tonight and attempted a blog. For all other 4 attempts, I ended up switching to looking at 'mind fucks' instead on account I am struggling for writings like a horse without a life jacket.
For the record, I found one of a blank room, so I had my head really close to the screen trying to see what was there, and it was one of those trick ones and I nearly died. Seriously. I jumped so much my hands made the keyboard jump off the table and I got teary-eyed. It was just awful.
..but..
"..I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful.."
I want to live by this. Forever and always.
If I change, hunt me down with a rifle. thx. <3
||(i love you. And it makes me
so insanely happy)
1 fat astronauts
6.6.08
Update
mood previously : fail.
mood as of now : content with lyf, bro.
ogawd. moniez naow plz? D:
mood as of now : content with lyf, bro.
ogawd. moniez naow plz? D:
3 fat astronauts
More than anything
Ever gotten so sad you feel worthless?
Ever realised you're such a terrible person and that's there's nothing going for you?
Ever thought that taking your life would save a lot of pain but then realise you'd never want to hurt your family?
Ever just wanted to just run away from everything you've ever known?
Ever looked in the mirror and hated with every fibre in your being the image that you see?
Ever wished you weren't trapped in the disgrace that you are?
2 fat astronauts
2.6.08
Railroad found me a river
Hi. It's Monday.
I had a good day today.
It was very pleasant.
And now I get to sit here
For the next hour or so...
Conversing with my Corey.
Simple things are best.
Peace. x
I had a good day today.
It was very pleasant.
And now I get to sit here
For the next hour or so...
Conversing with my Corey.
Simple things are best.
Peace. x
2 fat astronauts
1.6.08
from my mistakes, i will surely break
If there is something in the world I detest more than anything..
"Life can be overwhelming,
but don’t turn your back on the strongest crutch you’ve ever had.
They have always been there to brace your fall.
Wave goodbye to the past.
You’ve got your whole life to lead.
It’s time to gain some ground"
It's the fact that you fuck me over by having me believe I can trust you.
Yes, I'm sensitive and I thought you knew that.
But I guess if you feel you can throw around what I tell you like yesterday's paper, then you know me a whole lot less than you made out.
what ever made the world so hurtful?
"Life can be overwhelming,
but don’t turn your back on the strongest crutch you’ve ever had.
They have always been there to brace your fall.
Wave goodbye to the past.
You’ve got your whole life to lead.
It’s time to gain some ground"
1 fat astronauts