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25.3.08
Why won't He let us be happy?
Yet another miserable evening. Not truly miserable I suppose, but enough to make me not wish to get out of bed for another day.
Although...it did rain tonight. But instead of the usual cleansing relief I feel when I normally stand or walk through the rain, I feel nothing but unhappiness and somewhat as though the rain has meddled with my thoughts and swirled them all about so that I can no longer comprehend what they truly are and what they truly mean.
I'm so over feeling hurt. So sick of people taking the easy way out when dealing with emotions. Like...since when did it become okay for people to simply start acting all cozy with somebody else to avoid the fact that you happen to have feelings for them (That you want to rid yourself of, but can't) and they're afraid? And when was it okay to throw somebody's mistake right back up in their face? And also...who the fuck decided that love was a good thing? Hell, which absolute nutter said that life was a thing of happiness. I know for sure that lately I feel nothing but the opposite. Confused, hurt, lonely..you name it. I feel it.
I can't talk my feelings out loud; just merely typing them is a struggle. It seems the only way I'm finding a way to get them out of my system is by creating lines inside my head that turn the full blow of them to a more subtle bearable one.
i feel so so trapped. incapable of pulling myself out of the disaster that is my life.
idon'tknow what to do anymore. seriously.
Although...it did rain tonight. But instead of the usual cleansing relief I feel when I normally stand or walk through the rain, I feel nothing but unhappiness and somewhat as though the rain has meddled with my thoughts and swirled them all about so that I can no longer comprehend what they truly are and what they truly mean.
I'm so over feeling hurt. So sick of people taking the easy way out when dealing with emotions. Like...since when did it become okay for people to simply start acting all cozy with somebody else to avoid the fact that you happen to have feelings for them (That you want to rid yourself of, but can't) and they're afraid? And when was it okay to throw somebody's mistake right back up in their face? And also...who the fuck decided that love was a good thing? Hell, which absolute nutter said that life was a thing of happiness. I know for sure that lately I feel nothing but the opposite. Confused, hurt, lonely..you name it. I feel it.
I can't talk my feelings out loud; just merely typing them is a struggle. It seems the only way I'm finding a way to get them out of my system is by creating lines inside my head that turn the full blow of them to a more subtle bearable one.
i feel so so trapped. incapable of pulling myself out of the disaster that is my life.
idon'tknow what to do anymore. seriously.
0 fat astronauts