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30.10.08
Teenage Hopes
I'm yearning for a deep and meaningful conversation right now.
I think the last one I had was over a month ago. Maybe even more.
I'm tired. Of exams. The stress. My emotions...each is contributing to my feeling less and less sane each day. Also to the loss of control I'm having over my attitude and tears.
Bawling my eyes out at 1am is not my idea of sanity or a good time. It fucking sucks especially when there's nobody there to hold you tight and just understand.
I'm not even sure that kind of person exists anymore.
There always has to be a reason for every emotion you feel
But I'm finding I don't have an appropriate reason for how I'm feeling much lately.
I wish it were possible to take a step outside of my mind for the next 18 days.
This over-analytical state of mind is taking it's toll.
I miss being 11.
I miss being 12 even.
Do you get more unhappy as you get older? I think you do because things aren't as simple and safe anymore.
And loneliness seems to entwine itself to whatever limb it can get to when you're caught down.
And maybe the realisation that generally you are alone in life whether there are people around you or not sinks in.
Why do so many teen movies speak of teenage years as the-best-time-of-your-life? I have but 1 and a bit years remaining of my teenage years and I'm yet to see this or feel this. Hollywood, you totally fucked me over with all your fake hope bullshit.
Kids, get up for the let down.
kbye. x
I think the last one I had was over a month ago. Maybe even more.
I'm tired. Of exams. The stress. My emotions...each is contributing to my feeling less and less sane each day. Also to the loss of control I'm having over my attitude and tears.
Bawling my eyes out at 1am is not my idea of sanity or a good time. It fucking sucks especially when there's nobody there to hold you tight and just understand.
I'm not even sure that kind of person exists anymore.
There always has to be a reason for every emotion you feel
But I'm finding I don't have an appropriate reason for how I'm feeling much lately.
I wish it were possible to take a step outside of my mind for the next 18 days.
This over-analytical state of mind is taking it's toll.
I miss being 11.
I miss being 12 even.
Do you get more unhappy as you get older? I think you do because things aren't as simple and safe anymore.
And loneliness seems to entwine itself to whatever limb it can get to when you're caught down.
And maybe the realisation that generally you are alone in life whether there are people around you or not sinks in.
Why do so many teen movies speak of teenage years as the-best-time-of-your-life? I have but 1 and a bit years remaining of my teenage years and I'm yet to see this or feel this. Hollywood, you totally fucked me over with all your fake hope bullshit.
Kids, get up for the let down.
kbye. x
1 fat astronauts