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Vulpix.
21 years young.
a blog of memories and things to remember.
22.4.09


[My blogs are fairly fail right now. Forgive me.]

I'm not very good at being a decent person at the moment.
These past couple of years I've done things that are of the quality of somebody whose actions i would not understand should i observe them. Hence why I can't really make sense of myself anymore. I don't know what I strive to be and i get furious at myself for falling further away from the nice person I try to be most of the time. To be honest, recent events are proof how terrible a person i can be, or that I have become. I've not only hurt somebody once, but twice. It's literally close to unbearable to hurt another person the first time, but the second time it's even worse. The worst part is that it was a choice.

I've only just gone back to uni from the Easter break but once again I'm hating it. I'm sure if i was successful at it, it'd be fine but mostly I'm doing terribly and it makes me feel fairly pathetic. Roll the fact that I have been treating people like trash together with my failure at academics and we have what I would most likely classify as a "lost and hopeless" mind.

If I had a wish, I'd wish to be simple. Not the drastic kind, but the kind that makes decisions and understands themselves with ease. I just want to write my entire life about the things I see that are beautiful or inspiring but i know you can't make money or a career out of that. Bummer eh?

3 fat astronauts