And that nauseating feeling continues to linger because it hasn't got anywhere to go until the thoughts that are causing it to happen disapparate from your head? Said nausea is paying me a visit right now.

There is nothing about today that has gone wrong. It's been as perfect as an ordinary day can get. I got to university on time, my tutorials were bearable if not entertaining, I walked into Burwood Safeway for 5 minutes and was given work for 4.30, I worked and wasn't bothered by it and I just spent the last while watching 3 episodes of Scrubs. But out of nowhere my mood has flipped 180 and the nauseating need to cry is overwhelming and the only reason I can suggest as to its unexpected arrival is that I miss everything.

*I miss feeling like people who aren't my family give a fuck. *I miss getting sad or getting happy or getting whatever just because someone i care about feels that way. *I miss being wanted in any sense of the word. *I miss the people and how they used to be. *I miss school simply because it was an excuse for everything. *I miss my passion for life. *I miss wanting to write, wanting to read, wanting to learn. *I miss being extremely affected by people and their bullshit. *I miss money-wasting outtings. *I miss the fights that never really mattered. *I miss being worth the time. *I miss history.

I can keep on pretending everything is fine, but it's absolute shit. I'm a people-person as much as I refuse to admit it. I'm reserved, so what? I'm awkward, so what? I'm weird, so what? I need people around me just as much as the next fucking person. I'm not strong at all, just good at the mask. Without concrete, I'm a stack of bricks waiting to fall.