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Vulpix.
21 years young.
a blog of memories and things to remember.
20.1.10
on my own is all i know

While this has been my busiest week in almost 5 months, I realised that if things are to typically follow the basic pattern of my life, when this week is over, I'll go back to being miserable and without a life. I know I'm in control of what happens and where I go and whatnot, but sometimes it gets very hard to remember that. And often it's a whole lot easier to lay on a couch with a controller or book comfortably attached to my hands, bathing in my mopiness and self pity.



On account I had nothing to do with my time today, my head flipped back into thought overload. I hated on the world inside my head and dreamed of the possibilities and magic that could be were the world like the upcoming Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland. I thought up ridiculous unobtainable ideas to combat boredom. I overanalysed my faults in a mirror. I cringed and frowned at TV, and later a movie, for their concentration on love and nothing else. I hate that so very much about most fictional media. How they portray humans as dependent on love. The romantic kind. How it changes your world. Makes you a better person. Take your bullshit elsewhere pl0xx.

I'm probably just tired but I'm feeling cynical as hell more than usual tonight. I wish really bad that my mind could go back to the dreamy, innocent sixteen year old mind I once had. When Furcadia and writing lyrics for Smitty and crying were the activities that filled my days and that was good enough.

everything you can't have seems it's always better though. human-stupidity at its best.

0 fat astronauts