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what if there's nothing more to me? I'm just skin and bones..

Ack! What is happening here!?? There's something happenin' here... what it is ain't exactly clear. I am unable to do anything more than update my blog because besides facebook, the sites I'm so desperately trying to access won't work. Somebody's messin' with the interw3bz!!! No dice ebay, modcloth, dealextreme, amazon... sighhh.

I've had a pretty full-to-brim, overly-emotional last few days. My self esteem has been crashing pretty hardcore at the moment and I've been stuck with some stupidly up and down cold/sore throat/headachey thing. Somedays I wake up and after breakfast, I feel totally fine and other days I wake up and after breakfast, I still feel fail as well as becoming super dizzy and nauseous. Thanks, brain virusy creations.

I was fairly emotionally retarded on wednesday night. I asked Leah lots of strange questions that shouldn't have existed in my head before burning like a motherfucking Joan of Arc re-creation. Self esteem issues to the extent that peering at myself in the mirror or looking at my limbs and belly made me cry in frustration. These are my worst days. I'm so glad I don't get them as often as I did in 2008. Anyway, I was so pathetically emotional that Konan came over and we went for a mini walk before we came back home and lazed about and did lazy-people things until we fell asleep.

Thursday we woke up reasonably early and rushed to Box Hill for an appointment of Konan's. I finally got a new DS charger and after lunch, with me feeling irritable and sick-feeling as all hell, we took a disasterously long trip via the 903 bus to Moorabin to go to usafoods. I get to taste like Dr Pepper now. Excitement at the prospect of pop tarts and american cuisines kept me happy for most of the trip back towards a house that i live in but walking home, I got moody as all hell again. I swam and felt a fraction better.

Friday is today and I woke up and ate some toast and flew out the door with mama to my final bunnings interview where I was told that there was one final process and that was a discussion of me and the other applicants to see if any of us are worthy of a placement there. Fabboo. From there I had to race home to throw on work clothes and scoff down sammich to get to Safeway on time for a dreary monotonous 3.5 hours of work. Thankfully dad just so happened to stop by 15 minutes before I finished so he drove me home and then I just sat playing games and not doing much and feeling like crap until about now. And I still kind of feel crap. And earlier my mama decided to make me rethink my morals by going on yet another of her "sex is a reaally bad thing except for if you want to make babies" rants all of which generally make me feel like a bit of a filthy sluzz bag. But I listened to the new Motion City album and I felt a bit better coz generally on some particular days, music is my peace-bringer.

And to top off a sleepy, busy, rushy day, Kmart were out of brown maybelline eyeliner. And Yen won't answer her phone. ;.;

12:37 pm ·