Today began similar to any other day with the exception being my dad coming in to bid me farewell as he's flipped off to Queensland until Saturday. Unable to re-sleep, I stumbled out of bed and into life. With my backpack upon fictional shoulders, and my alias of Zroya in tact, I began my battles in the land of Johto. Successfully acquiring two new gym badges with sturdy pokemon at my side, I saved my progress to bathe and fill my rumbling gut.

Mission accomplished, I settled down upon the couch to join Bill and Ted for an Excellent Adventure. Obviously by now it is pretty damn clear that today was an extremely lazy day full of fat person desires (a.k.a food, TV, video games and a couch). However, I fixed this slightly by clipping a chain to a golden haired pooch and taking her for a brisk stroll through the park for approximately 50 minutes. Note that at this stage, the time has reached 6.30pm. WHERE DID THE DAY GO??

Having missed 4 or so calls from Yen (and Matt), they organised to come around for a visit and that they did. Having massacred any facebook rep I may have had and enjoying the beauty that is the Chatroulette version of Lady Gaga, we decided to head to Kmart just because it's open 24 hours and there is always items of interests to be seen and times of fondness to be had. As per the norm, Kmart was out of small sizes in my desired flannellette shirt colour and so I settled for the replacement cleanser I so badly needed Matt on the other hand found a perfect fit flannel shirt as well as tasty treats for the trip towards home. At this stage I texted Konan, who was home, so out of the kindness of their hearts, Yen and Matt drove to his house so I could see him. And this is where the party started.

Like a couple of retarded children, Matt and Yen discovered the pain that leathery straps of candy can cause. And running around wildly, I cuddled and talked to Konan and let them do their thang (which, for the record, involved them running about squealing and giggling and whipping each other with aforementioned leather candy straps). Believing them to be continuing with their mischief, it was strange to see them calm; with Yen on the hood of her car while Matt sat in the driver's seat. But this calm did not last for long! Oh no! After a blink, I discovered that for some unknown twit reason they were rolling down the hill. Sadly, the car had other ideas, and veering left began to head straight for a parked van alongside the silence that is Poole Street. Bewildered as to what tomfoolery my friends could be up to with this new trick, we walked towards the car as it stopped only an inch from the van. Having heard them gasping and panicking, it became clear that this had all been an accident and Matt had only managed to hit the foot pedal just in time.

So out of fear, Yen raced to the boot of her car that her phone and the tasty treats were balanced on and she hurried me into the car for a quick getaway. Unluckily in the process, I spilt a bit of gatorade down my neck, but luckily we got away from the van unscathed. The only scars left behind in this disaster were those involving Matt's heart palpitations and fear. A few hugs from Yen will probably fix this though.

And that my friends, brings us to the end of another day. Just an ordinary one, but a slightly interesting and enjoyable one nonetheless.

And as a final and politically incorrect last thought, I'm so very curious as to whether retards have to carry an identification card to prove themselves honestly retarded. Because what happens if a normal person acts retarded to get away with doing something? How do they prove that they're not really retarded if they act it for a whole 6 months? Okay, I'm done.