To be honest, if everything ends I'm going to be slightly confused. I'm used to friendships and whatever ending over really insignificant shit but I thought that this one was a bit more serious than that. I don't know what's happening. I don't know if our next meeting is simply a facade hiding true intentions. I'm probably just in the motions of flipping the fuck out over anything I've ever done wrong and not being able to understand how things get to where they are. I genuinely have no fucking idea what to do in situations like this so I guess I'll take my leave, shut my fucking mouth and sit pretty while they make up their mind. They might do me a favour and spit the truth in my face so I can man the fuck up or they'll leave me to suffer in my confusion.

Right now all I can do is wish that I'd never gotten involved with people again. I wish more than anything that I'd soldiered on avoiding people and leaving the house only to walk Maggie and go to work. At least that way nothing is ever confounding or disappointing or harmful..