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Vulpix.
21 years young.
a blog of memories and things to remember.
7.9.10
i'm here to wear you out || i'm here to watch you die

In arguments, no matter what you do, there is no chance of you coming out as a good person. To discuss the disagreement with somebody else, you can either make out like you're a huge piece of shit or you can make out like the other person is a huge piece of shit. Either way, nobody is going to like you.


And this is the story of my life. I have arguments, say things I don't perceive to be offensive, have them taken offensively and then suffer that big fat hate factor. And because I'm so tragic at expressing myself and creating a sound understanding, nothing is ever fixed. More to the point, the fact that my unintended offensiveness triggers defensive hate slurs, I get more riled up and end up thinking people just aren't worth the time of day if all I'm ever going to end up with is an even smaller ego (not just from the hate slurs, but from the feeling like i am a piece of shit on account of my lack of being able to communicate and making somebody else feel like they aren't something special or semi-retarded too.)

Anyway. When I have moments like these, minties are the furthest thing I need. Moments like these call for a shut down on all chosen social expeditions and a nice re-evaluation of what it is exactly that makes me such a poor form human being.

And you know what? Every time that I have gone through a period of re-evaluation, I never find an answer because this numbness takes over. And it's this numbness that turns me into an incredibly unfeeling being that on feeling the arrival of tears or a smile, squashes it down until you'd think it was never there at all. And ever since said numbness first brought me a dead peace, I have never fully functioned in an emotionally appropriate way. I'm either sickeningly emotional over strange things or I could really fucking care less about the things that do matter.

So I guess you could say I'd be better off facing the fucking music and just dealing with a vast number of the population who eventually learn to despise me.

0 fat astronauts